Life.

I have to admit how I neglected this blog again. Though, I never stopped writing-- in my journal, mini notebook, planner, and post-its. I am also happy to say that I started living and be genuinely happy.

I have crossed out some things on my bucket list, updated the list, welcomed a new angel in our lives, took a vacation with my family, be more confident, do something that a 10-year old me will never do, and take risks. 

There are still moments that I feel miserable but I always keep in mind that things will get better. I might be too positive about life but life is short to dwell on the negative things. Live now. 

Write a letter today to someone who needs your encouragement. –Jeff Goins

This is the last challenge that Jeff Goins gave to the people who joined his #my500words challenge. I have to admit that I failed it because I haven’t completed the 30 days. I just have at least 12 posts. 12/30, ha! But at least, it encouraged me to write more. I may not have written on my blog everyday but I have left more notes in my little notebook, in my journal, and my planner. Whenever I think of something, I don’t hesitate to write it unlike last year that I chose not to write what I think because I thought it is dumb.

I learned to suck it up and face my fears. I was so afraid that the world might come and get me but I realized that I should stop acting that way. Time to be braver. If I want to write, I should believe in myself and practice more. I need to stop comparing myself to others and stop thinking of not being good enough. Even if my writing is far from perfect at least I am slowly learning from my mistakes.

Even if I am late for the last challenge, I still want to do it. I always talk to people who are close to me, email them every day , chat or tweet and say encouraging things so I figured that I can write an encouraging post for someone who really feels down today – to a frustrated/or depressed or lost twenty-somethings today.

Dear whoever you are,

I don’t know exactly what you are going through but I want you to know that I understand if ever you are confused on where you really want to go. Maybe you have a job or maybe you don’t have one yet. If you have one and still feel lost, well been there, done that my friend. I really can’t say that go and freakin’ leave. No, I won’t do that. I remember when I was also thinking of leaving my first job – I was torn between my dream, my family, and my personal finances. At that time, I was happy until I realized being happy is not enough. Being JUST happy cannot pay the bills. So I decided I have to do something about it. I have read and watched almost all the encouraging, most positive articles and videos just to feel better. Or make myself at ease that I will not make the wrong decision. I was so scared to leave because I’m holding on to what they say "if you’re happy then go for it…" Then reality happened. Life happened. You’ll realize that life is not all about you. There are many factors in being happy especially now that we are still young.

I really want to give up at that time but when I watched this video of a famous broadcaster...She said that if you are happy with what you do, money will follow after you (okay, I’m not sure about this but it is something like that..) then she took a pause and added, “But is it applicable for everyone?” No. She added that some are just lucky while others need to fight harder to achieve their dreams. Don’t grieve and be disappointed for not being part of the privileged ones. Do not mope and give up just because you are one of the people who need to work harder. Instead, work hard, fight harder, and live more.

If you really want to leave your job, leave… but make sure you know what you want to do after. It will be better if before you send that resignation letter, you’ve already figure it out. But, if you can’t figure it out yet, start by talking to people who you know will never judge you on your decisions. 

I remember when I have this conversation with my brother, I told him that what if my decisions will turn out to be mistakes? He said (with an annoyed face) so what? If you’ll realize that you made the wrong choice then treat it as an “experience.” Another advice I got is from a veteran photographer in the fashion/entertainment industry, He asked me on why I will leave my job, I told him some of my reasons (like greener pasture and I just want to take a break from the media world). Then I suddenly felt the urge of asking him if I am making the right decisions.. He told me that I am just the one who can answer it and how can I tell if I am wrong or right when I haven’t done it yet? He told me that I am still young and go do the things I want to do.

Well, there are so many encouraging things that we can relate too but not all of them are applicable in our lives. Just pick out the best that you can relate to.

Never ever give up. Allow yourself to grow by making your own decisions. Because at the end of the day, it is your life. Go and do what you want, you freakin’ twenty-something! Make mistakes “Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right?” –Jen Lindley, Dawson’s Creek

Love,

Kit

#my500words: Concerts

*free writing*

The first real concert I've been to was two years ago. I always wanted to feel the concert-vibe every concertgoers feel. I love many artists but I haven't been to their concerts because I was just a student that time. My entire budget is dedicated for school works, project, school paper, and many more things related to being a college student.

I was very sad when Katy Perry went in the country again. I logged out my twitter so I can’t see happy tweets because I was very bitter at that time. I remember I have a conversation with some of my close friends and promised that next time we should save up for the future concerts of our favourite artists.

Of course, it does not happen in a snap.

Until, I was hired in a publishing company focusing on everything events.

I had my first concert experience and it was with one of my childhood best friends. Secondhand Serenade live in Manila. The concert actually brought back many memories. John Vesely’s (Secondhand Serenade) music was a big part of my high school and pre-college life. My friends and I sing along to his songs until we’re out of breath. We sang all our frustrations through his songs. At that time, people tell that most of his songs are bittersweet and mostly “emo.” But, we don’t care all his lyrics are heartfelt and heart wrenching. Seconhand’s concert brought goose bumps to us because it was so nice to hear the songs live and actually sing along with him. I even screamed my heart out when he finally sang his fan-favourite “Fall for you.” But, he had me with vulnerable because that was my favourite. That night, I was so glad I turned down other concert invites in the past months because I made sure that the first concert I will be in to should be a memorable one and something that I really like.

So maybe here’s a list of some of the concerts I’ve attended that are the closest to my heart.

Dia Frampton Live in Manila – This concert almost didn’t happen but thanks to Dia Frampton’s fans *ehem*, it was made possible. I’ve been dying to meet Dia eversince she auditioned for The Voice US.  She was really familiar to me until I realized that I have listened to some of her songs back in college. My dear friend, Rei recommended their band Meg and Dia to me before. So when she said that she’ll have a concert in Hard Rock Café, I was really looking forward to it. It was really the best. Dia is known to be a shy girl in The Voice but when she sings she turns into a confident and awesome musician. I’m so glad I experienced it live. She was so bubbly and funny. Added points, she was with her boyfriend Danny Bemrose (who plays the guitar for her. Aaaww) and their little banters make the audience more “kilig.” She is more awesome live, gosh! In the meet and greet and cd signing, Dia made me love her more when she was supposed to sit behind a table but she decided to stand up so her fans won’t have a hard time to hug her and made a chitchat. I even had to get my friend’s peace sign bracelets to give to Dia because I forgot to bring something for her. She is so wonderful. Looking forward for her next concert.

This 2014, she’ll have another concert in Hard Rock and she is bringing her sister Meg Frampton *tears*. The Meg and Dia band separated ways last years for some reasons but Dia kept her promise to the fans. She’ll be back with Meg. Oh dear Dia, God bless your heart. J

To be continued…

#my500words: Thoughts on Celeste and Jesse forever

I have to admit that I love to watch chic flicks once in a while. There are just times that I want to have a good cry over a fictional love story. Call me a hopeless romantic, sappy, weak, or whatever you want to call me but, I enjoy watching this kind of films. In fact, my favorite is A Walk to Remember. Don't worry there are also times when I cringe to some films' plot lines (maybe that's a sign of getting old?) There are moments when I stop watching a film because it is too sweet. Ugh. haha. Also, ever since... I love tragic,, sad or open-ended endings. Not that I'm bitter about life... it's just I'm a believer of there are just things that are not meant to be. :)) Even if I'm rooting for unhappy endings, I also love happy endings.. who doesn't?

And maybe because I love Celeste and Jesse --I'm torn between being happy for them or hate them for not being together. :(

Celeste and Jesse are best friends and a young couple who married early. They wanted to have a divorce but they still remain friends and stay on the same house. Celeste is more dominant and a career-oriented woman while Jesse is a one happy go lucky guy who likes to take things slow... So there is the conflict.

I love the fact that they are still best friends even if they are breaking up.Things started to become complicated when Jesse met a new girl... And then there Celeste -being jealous and comparing herself to the girl and all that overly-attached blah blah blah.

In the story, I really wanted to hate Celeste for giving up. For giving up on Jesse, for not fighting for their relationship. But, just like any loved character, Celeste is also vulnerable even if she's looks so tough.

I remember this scene when Jesse told Celeste that his new girlfriend is pregnant. And then suddenly he has a different outlook in life. he wants to be better. He wants to start a new life with the girl and their baby. Celeste became depressed because of it. it is when she realized that she can't live her life without Jesse but she realized it too late. I was crying the whole time when Celeste begged for Jesse to come back to her (in regular days, I hate it when a girl begs for a guy to come back to her)... Until, Jesse told her that he already loves the girl and wants to be a responsible father.

and that is the moment that I cried with Celeste (even if I'm slightly hating her for being a bitch)... It's like all her life Celeste wanted Jesse to be a responsible man for her and their relationship but he didn't. It takes for a baby and a new girl for him to be responsible.. It's like Celeste is not worth changing for... Okay, I'm overreacting here. But, if I'm Celeste, I will really feel that way. :((

I was already weeping when Celeste delivered her best friend speech.. That scene when she said something like... love one another and... sometimes it is not important that you're always right in the relationship... and fight for your love everyday.. and she wished she had. Oh! gosh! that was one tough scene. I watched it over and over again and it still hits me every time.

I remember when two of my friends who recommended me the movie told me that I will love the ending... and I guess they know me too well. I love it! BUT, I love the movie itself, even if it ended happy, i will still love it. It ended just right.

I just hope any couples in real life can resolve their differences as Jesse and Celeste had. One thing I learned in this film is... sometimes you need to ask yourself, "Do you want be right or do you want to be happy?"

#my500words: First

So, yes! It is one of my goals to improve my writing this year.
I even bought a planner that I can also use as a  journal so I will not have an excuse not to write anything. I promised myself that this time I will not edit myself (so much).

I've been very conscious of my writing ever since some stranger criticized my post on her own blog without even informing me of what she did. At that time, I was on my lowest and to discover something like that is like you're telling me that I will never be good enough. It was also the time when someone said that I write too blog-ish.. but I know that the write-up given to me is something worthy of that "tone" for that certain article... I was so pathetic at that time that I believed everyone who says that I'm not good enough.

I allowed them to let me down which is so stupid of me. Then, after all those pathetic things I tell myself, I just woke up one day that maybe they are right about my writing (for now) but I realized that they will never be right forever. I barely remember that stranger's blog but I will never forget the day I told myself that when the time comes that I will be good enough, I will never ever do the mean things that was done to me to others.

I will also try to do free writing (which is what I am doing now and maybe for the rest of my blog posts the next days) as much as possible to avoid my "write a little. edit. write more. edit. edit. haven't finished this write up because I edit so much" routine in everything I write (but of course I will not do free writing in the articles I write for work!)

This 2014, it feels like I really wanted to live for myself more. I am really excited for this year because I realized that when you've done something that you thought is very hard to do and you suddenly do it.. Oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm just saying all of this because I don't want to edit myself so bare with me. LOL

So? what do I really want to say?! I can't really put it into words....
but I remember the quote from John Green's book --Paper Towns.

“It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” 

I remember that last year was the year when I felt that I have been the bravest. 

All my life, I know that I am the kind of person who will never leave something  just because I just want to,  I'm burnt out, I got fed up, and I'm just tired of everything... If I can suck it up until the very end, I will.  But then again, people get tired and sometimes you just let go... and leave. and I DID! I can't explain the feeling into words but it was one of the best that I've felt.

It's like holding on to something for so long and then you let go, it hurts but I felt lighter. 

I remember how I cried because I felt like I've let go of my dreams but then I realized that I'm still holding on to those dreams... I just have to take a different road but I will still arrive on the same finish line. 

Inspire 26: Just let go

Maybe... it's time. :')

Inspire 25: Stop being too hard on yourself

The truth is I am this person. I always underestimate myself even in just simple things. I remember, before the year started I told myself that this year should be "FEARLESS 2013". Yet, once in a while I always go back to my comfort zone. I tend to not do things because it might not appear to be good or look good on me...

Actually there's a story of me -being afraid to sit on a hammock. EVERSINCE I WAS A KID, I never tried because I'm too scared that it will fall because of my weight. Until, a friend helped me get on it and honestly, it was one of the best moments of my life. I know this will be a shallow story but what the hell? I faced my fear and I didn't fall. 

So maybe I can continue being fearless until the year ends. I still have 8 months to go. :p

Lessons. Life.

*my feelings months ago*


It is only the beginning of the year but it feels like I've learned and changed a lot. Everyday I always want to learn new things, experience new adventures, and remember good memories. Often times, I end up being frustrated about life ...

Lessons.
--Learn to adjust.
I always feel that I am the most patient and considerate person in the whole world but I am wrong. very wrong. I realized that I can be impatient and inconsiderate most of the time. Well people change and as I mature, I'm more fearless to fight my own fights that I end up irritating or even ruining someone's day. I tend to show my (negative) emotions which makes me feel bad afterwards.

So, as time goes by I need to adjust on everything. Just like when I was a college girl who doesn't want to hurt anybody...

--You can never save EVERYONE.
I don't know how to say this but yeah, self explanatory. I should stop believing that I can save the lives of people who doesn't even want to be saved.


--TRUST but do not give 100% esp. if you have been betrayed... Once is enough.
It hurts the first time --it totally crushed my world but the second time???


--Sometimes, you have to stop caring so you would not end up being hurt.
I care too much. And for the second time I end up being left hanging. I'm just so scared that when I stop to care, I might end up losing "me." I tried that before, putting walls and just opening the doors to people I know, I can trust. When I stop caring, it means I cut ropes or any connections that's why I do not want to go back to that life again. As of the moment, I'm still deciding of what to do.

--Sometimes, you would let people believe their own conclusions because you are too tired to argue.
They already have their answers when they haven't even asked you the question... Just shut your mouth, play pretend,  and move on. Maybe, everything will be alright again or if not --be numb.


As of this time, I am not the best person to be asked of positivity or any good advice. I just want to let this out of my chest. Maybe, tomorrow I'll be fine again.

Inspire 22: "Go all out, or don't go at all."

Maybe, this one's applicable when it comes to work or achieving your dreams. Do your best in every way that you can. :) go and make your dream happen! :)

Inspire 21: Dream

Do not ruin other people's dreams just because you're having a hard time achieving yours.

Begin Again

Begin Again
Steps for a Better and Fresh You

Kristina Noelle Andaya

They say that 2012 will be the end of the world, but the optimistic ones are more concerned on how they will make their selves better this New Year. A better you can start from having a total makeover or having peace of mind and heart by letting go of the awful things that happened in the past year.

You don’t need a new year to refresh or restart your life. You can do it anytime. It just feels refreshing to embrace change as you welcome 2013 full of hopes and dreams.  Sometimes when you want a fresh start, it begins from within.

Choose confidence

Start the year by allowing yourself to be more self-assured. Stop caring about what everyone else thinks. Life is too short to always seek others’ approval on who you want to be. To gain more confidence, begin by accepting who you really are and everything will fall into place. Also, surround yourself with people who will bring out the best in you.

Choose now

Everybody’s excited about the future while others dwell too much in the past that they forget to live in the present. Today is a good start to have a wonderful tomorrow. Stop reworking yesterday and don’t peek too much in the future. It is time to make the most out of today and live in the moment.

Keep it real

There’s nothing more refreshing than being your authentic self. Drop the mask and show people the genuine you. Say no if you really mean no and utter yes if that’s what you really had in mind. Being true to the world often makes your surroundings more true to you, too.

Keep making mistakes and learn from them

Do not be afraid to fail. Mistakes are there to remind you that you can keep getting better. As Michelle Williams’ character Jen said in the 90s drama Dawson’s Creek, “Be sure to make mistakes, make a lot of them because there is no better way to learn and to grow…”

Welcome forgiveness

Holding grudges and burning bridges are unhealthy ways of living. You can never be happy when you fill your heart with hatred. It may be the hardest thing to do, but as the new year arrives, allow yourself to forgive. Forgiving is a gift that you give to yourself. Live your life by accepting apologies and dropping the hard feelings that have been in your heart for a long time.

Welcome challenges

Problems are a big part of life. Your existence here on earth will be dreary if you get everything easily. These problems are challenges that allow you to become tougher and wiser. Once you’ve overcome these challenges, you can face harder battles in life.

Stop blaming

Another year means another chance to improve your take about conscientiousness. End the day when all you do is blame others or let others defend you in situations that you know you are responsible for. It is now time to take a stand and have the power to take responsibility.

Stop hating life

Life may never be fair, but it is still worth living. Instead of complaining about your life, make the most out of it. It is easier to be said than done, right? But you have to accept the ugly truth because one way or another you still have to get up and face it.

Remember: enjoy the journey towards a better you.

Things to start doing in 2013

ð        travel

ð        sleep early and wake up early (Oh! Gosh!)

ð        try listening to a new genre of music

ð        save money and watch the concert of *insert name of favorite band*

ð        make a bucket list and start doing it.

ð        learn a language you hate

ð        read more

ð        take a technology break

ð        accept change

ð        let go

ð        forgive

The highest level of fan girl-ing

Sorry for the poor video quality... and for my voice that sings along with Alexander! haha

Even if I am a fan of a celebrity, band, musician or any "awesome" human being, I never went to their mall tours even if it is just near my place. So, I have to say that this is one of the things I have done for the first time!

I've learned of the band, The Cab from my friend/ former office mate, Eena. She let us listen to Vegas Skies and Take my hand. And yes, I instantly fell in love with the them and their songs. For many nights, I've been listening to their songs, endlessly (haha). Some of them are on repeat for weeks until I try another track. Usually, it was Vegas skies for two weeks, Take my hand the next until, I had their two albums and discovered more heart-pinching and kilig songs. 

I've been a fan of other bands but I never thought of going to their tours or any activities.... until, The Cab. I was searching for events in September (for work) when I stumbled on The Cab Mall Tours in Ayala Malls. At that time, I just joked my friends that we should go  because the band have a gig at ATC -- (my favorite hangout place). Also, I was really brokenhearted because I can't watch THE MAROON 5 concert so I'm finding a way to ease the pain, LOL!

So there, Airiz agreed to go with me and Joanna joined too. The funny thing is my office mates were very supportive. We thought of a way on how will the band notice us. NOTICE!!! hahaha. We thought of a stuff toy wherein I can throw it at Alex Marshall (the keyboardist of my life, LOL). 

The stuff toy thing was scrapped in the plan, another plan is to buy the sash where words "be my future husband" is written. Then, I said.. Oh my gosh! I can't do that... hahaha!

Hours before the event, I saw my first ever dream catcher necklace. I decided that I will find a way to give it to Alex... GOSH! I was so excited. 

The thing is we don't have tickets to get in (because we are broke girls) -- haha! it is really part of the plan. We know that during mall tours, you can still watch on the side. BUT!!! Even if we do't have any pass, our SPOT was the best! We were on the side where Alex Marshall seats when he is playing the piano. (Yes, my heart is screaming and I am screaming and all the poise in me was forgotten! haha)

We always tried to get their attention even if we're just outside. The plan worked really well. Alex Marshall keeps looking and smiling in our direction until the best thing happened. He gave his guitar pick to us! He asked the sound production man to give it to us... AND HE POINTED AT US!!!!! aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Then I remembered my dream catcher. We asked the same man to give it to Alex, and the second best thing happened, ALEX MARSHALL wore my dream catcher... and looked at me and smiled. I can't breathe... LOL

ALEX MARSHALL!!! I LOVE YOU! haha Thanks for this!

though, Airiz will be the one who'll keep it! :)

Woah! That was really an awesome experience though we just tortured ourselves as we watch the others hugged and kissed The Cab because they have passes for meet and greet. Anyway, those two best things were the awesomest! hahaha

Thanks for these photos tumblr and google! hahaha

09/22/2012

#17: Write First Drafts and Don't care about the world

Sarah Kay & Phil Kaye "When Love Arrives"

I haven't watched spoken poetry for months now and then I stumbled on this video in a blog I was reading.

And just like that I searched Sarah Kay videos ... until I realized that I have watched her videos before but how come, I just found this now?

Anyway, this is awesome! :)

"....But love is not perfect and will sometimes forget. When you need to hear it most, “You are beautiful.” Do not forget this.

Love is not what you are expecting. Love is not what you can predict. Maybe love is in New York City already asleep. You are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong timezone.

Maybe love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for love. Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type. ..."

"Maybe love is only there for a month. Maybe love is there for every firework. Every birthday party. Every hospital visit. Maybe love stays. Maybe love can’t. Maybe love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to and love leaves exactly when love must.

When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Turn off the music. Listen to the quiet. Whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”"

Inspire #16: YOLO

I've been neglecting my blog for weeks now. I've been very busy because of work and other things. Too tired to go online whenever I arrive home. Actually, even if today is SATURDAY -- I still have to go out because we have an event.

Alright, enough of this ... Why YOLO?

Source: http://dormify.tumblr.com

I am game for everything but there are moments that I still fear of doing the things I want to do. There are times that I chicken out because I'm shy, not in the mood or (yes, i'm saying it...) afraid. Maybe, that is the effect when you've been diffident as a kid - it will go back to you from time to time but you just need to fight and get over it.

The past weeks have been the busiest  days of my life but the best thing is -- I have lived...

I ...

connected, communicated and the shiz

I like meeting and talking to new people .... but I'm also afraid to be rejected. My work requires me to talk to different kinds of people and just two weeks ago, I conquered my fear.

pulled off a photo shoot (of course with my workmates)

That feeling when you had 10 mini heart attacks in just one day? I experienced that when I tried to ask  people of their availability and  they tell me that "they can't that day because blah blah blah..." I was like, oh! my gooosh. Kill me now. But, with the help of prayers they are all free that "certain" day. Thank you very much, Lord.

go out and be happy

No, I didn't get myself drunk and partied all night. Yes, I stayed up late and hangout with my friends until dawn (many times in a week.) 

Get the remaining free oil pastel even if I did not join the free art workshop (haha!) 

Listened and watch new indie bands (more indie, more fuun!)

joined contests & giveaways without expectations. 

and then this happened!

And today..

I'll be joining an activity that i never thought of doing.. Ever.. So a big good luck to me. Don't worry I'll make a blog post about it.

I'm so nervous but...

You (I) only live once! :)

#12 Inspire: a concept

My brother told me that I should not rush everything. He knows that I am very eager to chase my dreams. I have many plans for myself that I want to achieve in a short period of time. When I fail on achieving it, I always feel bad (who doesn't?) He said  that I should slow down....

I realized that when you set a goal for yourself you have to experience pain and hardships so you will strive more. ... Maybe I can't go to graduate school this year, hhmmm? Maybe next year. We'll never know. :)

I will chase my dreams slowly but surely. :) 

#11 Inspire: Do What you want to do. :)

#11 Inspire: It's okay to be hurt.

'nuff said. :)

#10 Inspire: Let Go

LET IT GO. I'm not just talking about "because you've hold on too long, it's okay to let go", I am also talking about all the frustrations, regrets, painful struggles, heartbreaks, envy, jealousy and all the negative things you are keeping in your heart. Let it rest and let go. 

I'm telling this to myself too everyday. :)

#9 Inspire: You are never alone.

image source

I know this is not a great entry for not posting more often but I hope this could inspire some random stranger who feels that he/she is alone. :) We're all just the same. We feel sad, happy, in love or any emotions that you can imagine and you are not alone.

Got a good #CatchUpWeekend by watching SMASH --its so good, Katharine Mcphee is made of pure awesomeness... and Im trying to catch up on The Vampire Diaries too... :)

And yes, I'm having a double time on my reading -- STILL, stuck with Kafka on the Shore and Looking for Alaska -- I just hope after this week, I've finished these two books already. :)

And to add -- my bestfriend has graduated from College last Friday! And I'm a proud bestfriend!!! :)

Congratulations dear! :) I loove you!

I took the photo from my phone :)

And as for work -- I hope you can visit Gala Magazine's website. I'd really appreciate it if you'll take a look. (I'll blog more about Gala Magazine next time --visit the website okay?)

Thank you very much! Hope to be back soon! LOL.. :)

Kit♥