TVD's 100th Episode

Stefan: You know whatever’s going on with you and Elena, you need to fix it. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you.

Damon:  don’t you think I know that? (pause) can’t live w/o her. But I don’t think im no better than Katherine. Elena will be happy without me. (Stefan gave him a look or something).  What? im being SELFLESS don’t give me that look.  Katherine freakin’ Pierce has a selfless moment.. im not allowed to have one too? Fine.. Fine.. when I get Elena back and the whole universe freaks out because the fated doppelgangers are torn apart, just remember you, you’re the one who pep talked me on doing the right thing for the universe and all mankind.

Stefan:  I will keep that in mind.

Maybe, in all the highlights of TVD's 100th episode.. I love this most. Everything about Stefan is lovable. I also love the part when he took care of Katherine because COME ON! Katherine is the most cruel person in TVD but he still thought that Kath became that "person" because she was in so much pain. Everyone is being selfless in this episode (except for Katherine in the last scene) but I will still give the medal to Stefan.

To encourage your brother to pursue your one true love is one of the top act for martyrdom... I want to hate Stefan for being so selfless. I want to punch him on the face and tell him to man up! ELENA IS YOUR LIFE, TOO. YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER TOO. SHE MAY FEEL LIKE SO FREE WHENEVER SHE'S WITH DAMON BUT YOU, STEFAN... YOU ARE THE ENDGAME. YOU'RE ALWAYS THE CHOICE. But, even if I'm a Stelena fan girl, I don't want Stelena to happen just because... just to go on for the story. Even if, I want Stefan and Elena back... I also have this dream for Stefan to find a new girl. As in a totally new character... Uhm? Well, I also want Steroline but I think they're better off as best friends. The chemistry and tension makes me want to ship them more but I love the Steroline friendship to stay -- NO RELATIONSHIP DRAMA PLEASE.

Even if they hold on to the Amara-Silas doppelgangers story line.. that whatever happens, fate will bring those effin' doppelgangers together, I want them to break it. Because, Stefan deserves a new person to make him the first choice. Not the girl who chooses another man but still keeps "SPECIAL" feelings for him and all. Come on, Elena! CHOOSE! If it's Damon then leave Stefan alone. :((

....If ever the writers decided to keep Stelena back.. maybe, I want them to work on the story line of Stefan... who always gives Elena the right to make her own decisions. Because, in real life... everyone wants to have that person. The one who will support you no matter what. :(

Okay? why does this post end up on connecting Stelena's situation to real life? haha. Okay! I'm sorry.

I also love the part when Alaric and Vicky is there with the gang. No, I don't like that Tyler had arrived to Mystic Falls. I fall out of love with Tyler. I'm just sad that Lexi didn't return for Stefan. "best friends" SOOOoooOOOooooo sad.

Empty

Staring at a blank screen

Never really thought of the things that can be said

Every day is a struggle.

Every morning feels like a never ending pain where you have to stand up and live. Live as if you’re alive. Alive? How can you be alive when every cell of your body screams death? Not the kind of death that everyone thinks. It’s something that only you can feel, see, and hear.

Until, you realize… it’s not death. It is being empty. Sometimes, you wonder if it’s better to be dead than feel empty…  Alive BUT empty. 

*free writing

Complexity

*free writing

Complexity.

Two different people. A fan and the star. She was there on every gig. He never bothered to see who’s different because all of them are the same. Everyone is a fan and he admires his fans, so much.  Until, he saw this girl sitting outside the bar just staring in the sky. He sat beside her but she didn’t notice. She pretended not to notice, she maybe a gig person but she never live for after-parties… or parties in particular or small talks from strangers in the bar. Then she turned her head and heard her heartbeat. He saw her looked at him for a second. She doesn’t look interested but he took his chance. She felt that he might recognize her because she’s there on every gig. She wants to run away but her legs can’t even move. She prayed hard so that he can’t hear her loud heartbeat. Until he said Hi! (the awkward hi) but she smiled.

You can hear loud music playing in the background but there are these two souls lost in each other’s banters and random small talks. Two strangers slowly peeking on each other’s lives just for a night, to see if they can see the lost part of them there. That feeling of belongingness with a person you don’t even know…  The guy trying to impress this hard-to-read girl and this girl who wants to scream “I’m a die-hard fan and finally you’re talking to me” but decided to leave it with “you’re a stranger kind of way.”

Tonight looks perfect but as they say nothing is … Maybe after this one-night fairy-tale story they will go back to their normal life. They can either chose the easiest card or fight against the complexity of their lives.

Write a letter today to someone who needs your encouragement. –Jeff Goins

This is the last challenge that Jeff Goins gave to the people who joined his #my500words challenge. I have to admit that I failed it because I haven’t completed the 30 days. I just have at least 12 posts. 12/30, ha! But at least, it encouraged me to write more. I may not have written on my blog everyday but I have left more notes in my little notebook, in my journal, and my planner. Whenever I think of something, I don’t hesitate to write it unlike last year that I chose not to write what I think because I thought it is dumb.

I learned to suck it up and face my fears. I was so afraid that the world might come and get me but I realized that I should stop acting that way. Time to be braver. If I want to write, I should believe in myself and practice more. I need to stop comparing myself to others and stop thinking of not being good enough. Even if my writing is far from perfect at least I am slowly learning from my mistakes.

Even if I am late for the last challenge, I still want to do it. I always talk to people who are close to me, email them every day , chat or tweet and say encouraging things so I figured that I can write an encouraging post for someone who really feels down today – to a frustrated/or depressed or lost twenty-somethings today.

Dear whoever you are,

I don’t know exactly what you are going through but I want you to know that I understand if ever you are confused on where you really want to go. Maybe you have a job or maybe you don’t have one yet. If you have one and still feel lost, well been there, done that my friend. I really can’t say that go and freakin’ leave. No, I won’t do that. I remember when I was also thinking of leaving my first job – I was torn between my dream, my family, and my personal finances. At that time, I was happy until I realized being happy is not enough. Being JUST happy cannot pay the bills. So I decided I have to do something about it. I have read and watched almost all the encouraging, most positive articles and videos just to feel better. Or make myself at ease that I will not make the wrong decision. I was so scared to leave because I’m holding on to what they say "if you’re happy then go for it…" Then reality happened. Life happened. You’ll realize that life is not all about you. There are many factors in being happy especially now that we are still young.

I really want to give up at that time but when I watched this video of a famous broadcaster...She said that if you are happy with what you do, money will follow after you (okay, I’m not sure about this but it is something like that..) then she took a pause and added, “But is it applicable for everyone?” No. She added that some are just lucky while others need to fight harder to achieve their dreams. Don’t grieve and be disappointed for not being part of the privileged ones. Do not mope and give up just because you are one of the people who need to work harder. Instead, work hard, fight harder, and live more.

If you really want to leave your job, leave… but make sure you know what you want to do after. It will be better if before you send that resignation letter, you’ve already figure it out. But, if you can’t figure it out yet, start by talking to people who you know will never judge you on your decisions. 

I remember when I have this conversation with my brother, I told him that what if my decisions will turn out to be mistakes? He said (with an annoyed face) so what? If you’ll realize that you made the wrong choice then treat it as an “experience.” Another advice I got is from a veteran photographer in the fashion/entertainment industry, He asked me on why I will leave my job, I told him some of my reasons (like greener pasture and I just want to take a break from the media world). Then I suddenly felt the urge of asking him if I am making the right decisions.. He told me that I am just the one who can answer it and how can I tell if I am wrong or right when I haven’t done it yet? He told me that I am still young and go do the things I want to do.

Well, there are so many encouraging things that we can relate too but not all of them are applicable in our lives. Just pick out the best that you can relate to.

Never ever give up. Allow yourself to grow by making your own decisions. Because at the end of the day, it is your life. Go and do what you want, you freakin’ twenty-something! Make mistakes “Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right?” –Jen Lindley, Dawson’s Creek

Love,

Kit