Write a letter today to someone who needs your encouragement. –Jeff Goins

This is the last challenge that Jeff Goins gave to the people who joined his #my500words challenge. I have to admit that I failed it because I haven’t completed the 30 days. I just have at least 12 posts. 12/30, ha! But at least, it encouraged me to write more. I may not have written on my blog everyday but I have left more notes in my little notebook, in my journal, and my planner. Whenever I think of something, I don’t hesitate to write it unlike last year that I chose not to write what I think because I thought it is dumb.

I learned to suck it up and face my fears. I was so afraid that the world might come and get me but I realized that I should stop acting that way. Time to be braver. If I want to write, I should believe in myself and practice more. I need to stop comparing myself to others and stop thinking of not being good enough. Even if my writing is far from perfect at least I am slowly learning from my mistakes.

Even if I am late for the last challenge, I still want to do it. I always talk to people who are close to me, email them every day , chat or tweet and say encouraging things so I figured that I can write an encouraging post for someone who really feels down today – to a frustrated/or depressed or lost twenty-somethings today.

Dear whoever you are,

I don’t know exactly what you are going through but I want you to know that I understand if ever you are confused on where you really want to go. Maybe you have a job or maybe you don’t have one yet. If you have one and still feel lost, well been there, done that my friend. I really can’t say that go and freakin’ leave. No, I won’t do that. I remember when I was also thinking of leaving my first job – I was torn between my dream, my family, and my personal finances. At that time, I was happy until I realized being happy is not enough. Being JUST happy cannot pay the bills. So I decided I have to do something about it. I have read and watched almost all the encouraging, most positive articles and videos just to feel better. Or make myself at ease that I will not make the wrong decision. I was so scared to leave because I’m holding on to what they say "if you’re happy then go for it…" Then reality happened. Life happened. You’ll realize that life is not all about you. There are many factors in being happy especially now that we are still young.

I really want to give up at that time but when I watched this video of a famous broadcaster...She said that if you are happy with what you do, money will follow after you (okay, I’m not sure about this but it is something like that..) then she took a pause and added, “But is it applicable for everyone?” No. She added that some are just lucky while others need to fight harder to achieve their dreams. Don’t grieve and be disappointed for not being part of the privileged ones. Do not mope and give up just because you are one of the people who need to work harder. Instead, work hard, fight harder, and live more.

If you really want to leave your job, leave… but make sure you know what you want to do after. It will be better if before you send that resignation letter, you’ve already figure it out. But, if you can’t figure it out yet, start by talking to people who you know will never judge you on your decisions. 

I remember when I have this conversation with my brother, I told him that what if my decisions will turn out to be mistakes? He said (with an annoyed face) so what? If you’ll realize that you made the wrong choice then treat it as an “experience.” Another advice I got is from a veteran photographer in the fashion/entertainment industry, He asked me on why I will leave my job, I told him some of my reasons (like greener pasture and I just want to take a break from the media world). Then I suddenly felt the urge of asking him if I am making the right decisions.. He told me that I am just the one who can answer it and how can I tell if I am wrong or right when I haven’t done it yet? He told me that I am still young and go do the things I want to do.

Well, there are so many encouraging things that we can relate too but not all of them are applicable in our lives. Just pick out the best that you can relate to.

Never ever give up. Allow yourself to grow by making your own decisions. Because at the end of the day, it is your life. Go and do what you want, you freakin’ twenty-something! Make mistakes “Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right?” –Jen Lindley, Dawson’s Creek

Love,

Kit

#my500words: Just nothing

*just wrote while listening to Art of Letting Go and You could be happy.

*free writing

Goodbyes break hearts, souls, hope, relationships, joy, and many positive things. It was said in a song that we all can learn the art of letting go. How can someone really let go? Is it when one will go to different places alone but still feel all the hurt whenever night time comes? Is it when after you said good bye and finally have the courage to leave that you start to feel better for yourself but still feel your heart aching whenever you remember a certain memory. Or is it when you felt all the pain an

Memories.. Good or bad.. all of them has a place in your life. Feel.. Feel the pain, hold on to the memories, accept, don’t accept, go back to step one. Try to say it is really over. Say goodbye even the words choke you. Set it free, set them free, set him free. Maybe someday you’ll be fine, you’ll smile at each other because it is all over but right now, accept… let go of the grip slowly, one by one, one step at a time. You can learn to live again.

Start again. Restart? Yes you can. Don’t give up on your life but give him up. No, he is not your life. You have your own. Live it. Don’t be pathetic –well, it’s fine but don’t be like that all your life. Hold on to the memories but learn to put away the candid shots, the sweet pictures… the beautiful memories.

Unchain your hands, your feet, unchain your heart. Unchain everything until you feel free. Tell yourself, enough, good bye, IT”S OVER. Even if you don’t believe it.. Say it. Let go of the grip. Stop holding on. Open up the door, get out. Walk away. Kick all the chains. Think of Start. Restart. New. Run. Walk not towards him but towards a new you. Towards a better life. A new future. Forget about the future you drew with him. It does not matter anymore. It does not exist anymore.

Accept it. Just think that you are walking on your own in a blindfold. You can’t see anything right? Get the blindfold off. Continue to walk, Open your eyes. Do not be afraid. It is dark? Walk again. Don’t stop. Run. Run away. Do not look back. Not yet.

You can be happy again. And maybe he also wants you to be happy. He wants to remind you how you were before all this. Even if he wants you to stop from walking away just think that maybe he is not the one. Not the right one. Not right now. Or Not ever.

You will be okay. Alright. You will heal on the right time. You’ll get scars but you will be truly happy if you just let yourself to let go. Cry it out now, scream so loud, shout all the hate then breathe do it again until you get tired. Have a time for yourself. Be happy, hang out with good friends. Be free. Smile. Accept, heal, let go, live, and be happy again. J

#my500words: Concerts

*free writing*

The first real concert I've been to was two years ago. I always wanted to feel the concert-vibe every concertgoers feel. I love many artists but I haven't been to their concerts because I was just a student that time. My entire budget is dedicated for school works, project, school paper, and many more things related to being a college student.

I was very sad when Katy Perry went in the country again. I logged out my twitter so I can’t see happy tweets because I was very bitter at that time. I remember I have a conversation with some of my close friends and promised that next time we should save up for the future concerts of our favourite artists.

Of course, it does not happen in a snap.

Until, I was hired in a publishing company focusing on everything events.

I had my first concert experience and it was with one of my childhood best friends. Secondhand Serenade live in Manila. The concert actually brought back many memories. John Vesely’s (Secondhand Serenade) music was a big part of my high school and pre-college life. My friends and I sing along to his songs until we’re out of breath. We sang all our frustrations through his songs. At that time, people tell that most of his songs are bittersweet and mostly “emo.” But, we don’t care all his lyrics are heartfelt and heart wrenching. Seconhand’s concert brought goose bumps to us because it was so nice to hear the songs live and actually sing along with him. I even screamed my heart out when he finally sang his fan-favourite “Fall for you.” But, he had me with vulnerable because that was my favourite. That night, I was so glad I turned down other concert invites in the past months because I made sure that the first concert I will be in to should be a memorable one and something that I really like.

So maybe here’s a list of some of the concerts I’ve attended that are the closest to my heart.

Dia Frampton Live in Manila – This concert almost didn’t happen but thanks to Dia Frampton’s fans *ehem*, it was made possible. I’ve been dying to meet Dia eversince she auditioned for The Voice US.  She was really familiar to me until I realized that I have listened to some of her songs back in college. My dear friend, Rei recommended their band Meg and Dia to me before. So when she said that she’ll have a concert in Hard Rock Café, I was really looking forward to it. It was really the best. Dia is known to be a shy girl in The Voice but when she sings she turns into a confident and awesome musician. I’m so glad I experienced it live. She was so bubbly and funny. Added points, she was with her boyfriend Danny Bemrose (who plays the guitar for her. Aaaww) and their little banters make the audience more “kilig.” She is more awesome live, gosh! In the meet and greet and cd signing, Dia made me love her more when she was supposed to sit behind a table but she decided to stand up so her fans won’t have a hard time to hug her and made a chitchat. I even had to get my friend’s peace sign bracelets to give to Dia because I forgot to bring something for her. She is so wonderful. Looking forward for her next concert.

This 2014, she’ll have another concert in Hard Rock and she is bringing her sister Meg Frampton *tears*. The Meg and Dia band separated ways last years for some reasons but Dia kept her promise to the fans. She’ll be back with Meg. Oh dear Dia, God bless your heart. J

To be continued…

#my500words: First

So, yes! It is one of my goals to improve my writing this year.
I even bought a planner that I can also use as a  journal so I will not have an excuse not to write anything. I promised myself that this time I will not edit myself (so much).

I've been very conscious of my writing ever since some stranger criticized my post on her own blog without even informing me of what she did. At that time, I was on my lowest and to discover something like that is like you're telling me that I will never be good enough. It was also the time when someone said that I write too blog-ish.. but I know that the write-up given to me is something worthy of that "tone" for that certain article... I was so pathetic at that time that I believed everyone who says that I'm not good enough.

I allowed them to let me down which is so stupid of me. Then, after all those pathetic things I tell myself, I just woke up one day that maybe they are right about my writing (for now) but I realized that they will never be right forever. I barely remember that stranger's blog but I will never forget the day I told myself that when the time comes that I will be good enough, I will never ever do the mean things that was done to me to others.

I will also try to do free writing (which is what I am doing now and maybe for the rest of my blog posts the next days) as much as possible to avoid my "write a little. edit. write more. edit. edit. haven't finished this write up because I edit so much" routine in everything I write (but of course I will not do free writing in the articles I write for work!)

This 2014, it feels like I really wanted to live for myself more. I am really excited for this year because I realized that when you've done something that you thought is very hard to do and you suddenly do it.. Oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm just saying all of this because I don't want to edit myself so bare with me. LOL

So? what do I really want to say?! I can't really put it into words....
but I remember the quote from John Green's book --Paper Towns.

“It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.” 

I remember that last year was the year when I felt that I have been the bravest. 

All my life, I know that I am the kind of person who will never leave something  just because I just want to,  I'm burnt out, I got fed up, and I'm just tired of everything... If I can suck it up until the very end, I will.  But then again, people get tired and sometimes you just let go... and leave. and I DID! I can't explain the feeling into words but it was one of the best that I've felt.

It's like holding on to something for so long and then you let go, it hurts but I felt lighter. 

I remember how I cried because I felt like I've let go of my dreams but then I realized that I'm still holding on to those dreams... I just have to take a different road but I will still arrive on the same finish line.