#my500words: Just nothing

*just wrote while listening to Art of Letting Go and You could be happy.

*free writing

Goodbyes break hearts, souls, hope, relationships, joy, and many positive things. It was said in a song that we all can learn the art of letting go. How can someone really let go? Is it when one will go to different places alone but still feel all the hurt whenever night time comes? Is it when after you said good bye and finally have the courage to leave that you start to feel better for yourself but still feel your heart aching whenever you remember a certain memory. Or is it when you felt all the pain an

Memories.. Good or bad.. all of them has a place in your life. Feel.. Feel the pain, hold on to the memories, accept, don’t accept, go back to step one. Try to say it is really over. Say goodbye even the words choke you. Set it free, set them free, set him free. Maybe someday you’ll be fine, you’ll smile at each other because it is all over but right now, accept… let go of the grip slowly, one by one, one step at a time. You can learn to live again.

Start again. Restart? Yes you can. Don’t give up on your life but give him up. No, he is not your life. You have your own. Live it. Don’t be pathetic –well, it’s fine but don’t be like that all your life. Hold on to the memories but learn to put away the candid shots, the sweet pictures… the beautiful memories.

Unchain your hands, your feet, unchain your heart. Unchain everything until you feel free. Tell yourself, enough, good bye, IT”S OVER. Even if you don’t believe it.. Say it. Let go of the grip. Stop holding on. Open up the door, get out. Walk away. Kick all the chains. Think of Start. Restart. New. Run. Walk not towards him but towards a new you. Towards a better life. A new future. Forget about the future you drew with him. It does not matter anymore. It does not exist anymore.

Accept it. Just think that you are walking on your own in a blindfold. You can’t see anything right? Get the blindfold off. Continue to walk, Open your eyes. Do not be afraid. It is dark? Walk again. Don’t stop. Run. Run away. Do not look back. Not yet.

You can be happy again. And maybe he also wants you to be happy. He wants to remind you how you were before all this. Even if he wants you to stop from walking away just think that maybe he is not the one. Not the right one. Not right now. Or Not ever.

You will be okay. Alright. You will heal on the right time. You’ll get scars but you will be truly happy if you just let yourself to let go. Cry it out now, scream so loud, shout all the hate then breathe do it again until you get tired. Have a time for yourself. Be happy, hang out with good friends. Be free. Smile. Accept, heal, let go, live, and be happy again. J

#my500words: Dear you

I'm just on my third #my500words post and it feels like I don't know what to write anymore (haha!) I really don't want to read my last posts because I might end up doing more tweaks which is not part of this personal challenge.

Anyway, I got an idea from a post I saw on tumblr. There's this certain blogger who writes short notes to people close to her, sometimes strangers but the catch is it doesn't have a name. There's no clue of who she is talking about. It's like the letters we write on our diary but this time it is posted online and that person is unknown...

It's like letting all your feelings out.

So, I'm going to do it too.

Phew.

#1
Hey, I know that you are having a hard time right now. You have so many questions on what is happening and I know that we all push you to be braver, stronger, and mature enough to tell the truth. I'm really concerned about you. It feels like you decided to be a mature person about this matter but you still can't swallow your pride. I'm afraid that something bad might happen to you just because of your selfishness. Why can't you just tell the truth? I know it is not easy but you have to remember that the clock is ticking and this is not something that you can hide forever. I don't know what to do with you anymore! Please? Please? Please? tell them now! Please?

#2
I never thought someone like you really existed. You are such a douche bag.. You fucking jerk. Whenever I remember your name, all I think about is jerk! jerk! jerk! *ssh*le. Ugh! How can you let something happen so easily and then deny it afterwards. Someday, when everything will fall into place, I hope the time will come that you realize the things that you did. I hope when the right time comes, you'll regret the day that you saved yourself and even used God's name in vain. I know that not everything is your fault but when I read all your messages... I cried because you made someone so important to me feel like trash. When the truth is you are the crap. (I'm sorry to say this and I'll probably regret this but, I just don't care right now.) I just hope these things that you've done will not happen to anyone close to you. and one last thing, Stop! saying that you are a changed person.. because you are not!

#3
Thank you for opening yourself up to me. You rather keep everything to yourself and does not build a lot of relationships because you're just not that kind of person. I'm happy whenever you tell me stories about you because I know that you trust me enough to tell me those things. Last year was the time that I learned to build a wall and limit myself to people who knows me best. It was surprising that I gained a new friend in you. Thank you. Thank you for helping me whenever I don't know what to do especially when I was the new girl. Thank you for teaching me to be a less worrier.

#4
This is something I know I will laugh whenever I got the chance to read again in the future. But what the hell, I just want to say it.

My daydreams are often about you and me meeting somewhere far from home. I even imagine myself being disappointed because the you in my dreams is very far from the you in real life. And then, I go back to that night of the gig when you smile that genuine smile...  And *poof*here goes the daydreamer again. Don't worry I don't imagine my future with you, I'm old enough to realize that you are just a crush -- a super crush!

#5
You'll be fine. Just don't ever give up on your dreams. One step at a time. :) You'll get there.



Wow!!! I enjoyed this.. Maybe I should do this more often! :)

Lessons. Life.

*my feelings months ago*


It is only the beginning of the year but it feels like I've learned and changed a lot. Everyday I always want to learn new things, experience new adventures, and remember good memories. Often times, I end up being frustrated about life ...

Lessons.
--Learn to adjust.
I always feel that I am the most patient and considerate person in the whole world but I am wrong. very wrong. I realized that I can be impatient and inconsiderate most of the time. Well people change and as I mature, I'm more fearless to fight my own fights that I end up irritating or even ruining someone's day. I tend to show my (negative) emotions which makes me feel bad afterwards.

So, as time goes by I need to adjust on everything. Just like when I was a college girl who doesn't want to hurt anybody...

--You can never save EVERYONE.
I don't know how to say this but yeah, self explanatory. I should stop believing that I can save the lives of people who doesn't even want to be saved.


--TRUST but do not give 100% esp. if you have been betrayed... Once is enough.
It hurts the first time --it totally crushed my world but the second time???


--Sometimes, you have to stop caring so you would not end up being hurt.
I care too much. And for the second time I end up being left hanging. I'm just so scared that when I stop to care, I might end up losing "me." I tried that before, putting walls and just opening the doors to people I know, I can trust. When I stop caring, it means I cut ropes or any connections that's why I do not want to go back to that life again. As of the moment, I'm still deciding of what to do.

--Sometimes, you would let people believe their own conclusions because you are too tired to argue.
They already have their answers when they haven't even asked you the question... Just shut your mouth, play pretend,  and move on. Maybe, everything will be alright again or if not --be numb.


As of this time, I am not the best person to be asked of positivity or any good advice. I just want to let this out of my chest. Maybe, tomorrow I'll be fine again.

#9 Inspire: You are never alone.

image source

I know this is not a great entry for not posting more often but I hope this could inspire some random stranger who feels that he/she is alone. :) We're all just the same. We feel sad, happy, in love or any emotions that you can imagine and you are not alone.

Got a good #CatchUpWeekend by watching SMASH --its so good, Katharine Mcphee is made of pure awesomeness... and Im trying to catch up on The Vampire Diaries too... :)

And yes, I'm having a double time on my reading -- STILL, stuck with Kafka on the Shore and Looking for Alaska -- I just hope after this week, I've finished these two books already. :)

And to add -- my bestfriend has graduated from College last Friday! And I'm a proud bestfriend!!! :)

Congratulations dear! :) I loove you!

I took the photo from my phone :)

And as for work -- I hope you can visit Gala Magazine's website. I'd really appreciate it if you'll take a look. (I'll blog more about Gala Magazine next time --visit the website okay?)

Thank you very much! Hope to be back soon! LOL.. :)

Kit♥

Stop animal cruelty.

See the Sun for the First Time

I was so touched. I almost cried when i saw the dogs, afraid and hesitant to step on the grass. Gosh! Its their first time to see the sun and step on the grass... Oh my gosh!!! :/

What's wrong with you people??!!!! Stop hurting animals!!!

Angel

This song is composed by Jireh Lim (one of my youtube crush!) for his girlfriend who died in accident. The song was very touching, he composed it days after she died... It is really heartbreaking... :'( I hope you'd take time to listen to the song... :'(


Seein you inside this lonely, little, tiny, hopeless room
Is way harder than you thought It's harder than you thought
Bringing you your favorite flowers
Purple daisy hope you bloom
Your mama's tears on my shoulder
Make my insides even tighter
I would rather see you here standing
Breaking up with me than to see you 50-50 in your hospital bed
There's an angel by your side My vision see your reflection
Tragedy will set aside if only I have felt right

I've never seen your heart this tired
I've never seen your heart this tired

I won't stop believin that you'll open your eyes,
I've been prayin that you'll never ever of go to the light yet
I won't hide this feelin that I'm having inside,
I've been wishing I'm the one who's in there and you're not one

Waiting here in front of you
Is the only thing I could do
I've never felt so useless in my life
But what else should I do
Hang in there my pretty love
Sun will set to shine for you
And when you open your eyes
For sure I'll be on your side

I've never seen your heart this tired
I've never seen your heart this tired

I won't stop believin that you'll open your eyes,
I've been prayin that you'll never ever of go to the light yet
I won't hide this feelin that I'm having inside,
I've been wishing I'm the one who's in there and you're not one

Empty

Have you ever felt the feeling of emptiness. I don't know but that's what i feel right now. Maybe, after the happy times there's an equal "it sucks time." I know i'll get over this but i hope it would be sooner. Frustrations are all over my head and I hate it. I hate it very much. Come on?! get out please?! :(

Day 1: Favorite Song

Fey-vo-rit song. OMG! this is hard! I have many :(

Well, Maybe I would just post the one that always have a big impact when i hear it.

I can't post the audio here so i'll just paste the Lyrics :)

"Bless The Broken Road"

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

It's a song that reminds me that someone along the way, will sing to me this beautiful lyrics. And in his prayer he will thank God that He led me straight to him. :) cheesy.

Completely Lost

Locked on a small room with empty chairs
Accompanied by unknown faces and smiles

She wanted to get out
but she doesn't know where to go

Weeks have past when she stopped dreaming.
Not sure of what she'll do next

Part of her wants to give up
yet she covers her ears to erase the negative whispers.

You want to help her? or You want to let her down again?

If you will hold her hand to guide her on the right way,
Do it Now. She might be lost again, completely.