Lessons. Life.

*my feelings months ago*


It is only the beginning of the year but it feels like I've learned and changed a lot. Everyday I always want to learn new things, experience new adventures, and remember good memories. Often times, I end up being frustrated about life ...

Lessons.
--Learn to adjust.
I always feel that I am the most patient and considerate person in the whole world but I am wrong. very wrong. I realized that I can be impatient and inconsiderate most of the time. Well people change and as I mature, I'm more fearless to fight my own fights that I end up irritating or even ruining someone's day. I tend to show my (negative) emotions which makes me feel bad afterwards.

So, as time goes by I need to adjust on everything. Just like when I was a college girl who doesn't want to hurt anybody...

--You can never save EVERYONE.
I don't know how to say this but yeah, self explanatory. I should stop believing that I can save the lives of people who doesn't even want to be saved.


--TRUST but do not give 100% esp. if you have been betrayed... Once is enough.
It hurts the first time --it totally crushed my world but the second time???


--Sometimes, you have to stop caring so you would not end up being hurt.
I care too much. And for the second time I end up being left hanging. I'm just so scared that when I stop to care, I might end up losing "me." I tried that before, putting walls and just opening the doors to people I know, I can trust. When I stop caring, it means I cut ropes or any connections that's why I do not want to go back to that life again. As of the moment, I'm still deciding of what to do.

--Sometimes, you would let people believe their own conclusions because you are too tired to argue.
They already have their answers when they haven't even asked you the question... Just shut your mouth, play pretend,  and move on. Maybe, everything will be alright again or if not --be numb.


As of this time, I am not the best person to be asked of positivity or any good advice. I just want to let this out of my chest. Maybe, tomorrow I'll be fine again.

Complicated.

Why does life has to be so complicated. All my positive vibes are losing its energy. Tomorrow would be the first day of the first half of the year and I still haven't achieve anything. Everytime I go online, I just feel frustrated. I know that it would be hard to reach for my dreams. Really hard. But its different when you're already here seeing it with your naked eyes.

I've wanted this. So I am not giving up... Please help me God. :)