#my500words: Sleep and Books

Sleep is one of the most important things in the world. This is the most precious thing for me especially on weekends. Whenever my friends cancel our plans to hangout, I feel a bit sad but at the end of the day I have to admit I’m happy because there is more time to sleep.

I remember when my brother and I are just little rugrats, nap time is the dreaded time of the day. We just pretend that we are sleeping but never did. I usually count 1 to whatever while my eyes are closed. When no one is looking, I will just sit up and stay still then lie down again –wishing that time would tick fast so I will be allowed to play outside.

Then… I grew up and wished for more time to sleep. I remember reading this quote from famous Filipino author Bob Ong that says “Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?” Not that I’m in love or anything but I swear, I hate my little self for just pretending to sleep during nap time. I wish I could take it all back and have more time to sleep. (lol)

Though, I love sleeping there are also days when it is alright for me to stay up late or not sleep at all or sleep in the morning, stay awake in the evening.

Those were also the best moments of my life…

After college graduation, I was a bum for nine months. Those were the most depressing days of my life. Just don’t make me recall it, I might get teary-eyed. Loljk. The feeling of not going to school excites you because you don’t have to wake up early nor wear your uniform on a sunny day –sounds amazing but after a month and so… being a bum is not the best thing at all. First few months, okay. The next months are frustrating.. The next next (I’m exaggerating here) months are depressing. And, during those days I relied on my books. I even started to read ebooks just to forget reality for a while. Even if I was at my lowest at that time, books were my sanctuary, my savior, and my sanity during the times of senselessness. I lack sleep but I do not care. I was laughing, crying, weeping, blushing, I was feeling all the emotions from what I’m reading while the world is asleep.

In 2011, I read at least 60 books. I love myself that time. I understand that when I will find a job, I will read less because I don’t have time. I crave for more sleep. But, I love my books so much that I can’t let them go. So when I’m on my way to work, I read. Before I go to sleep, I read. During weekends when I’m home, I either sleep or read. Sometimes, I watch television but I get bored easily with the noon time shows so I’d rather stay in my room. So, I really need more time. For reading and sleeping. And more time to fulfil my goals and dreams. 

#my500words: Dear you

I'm just on my third #my500words post and it feels like I don't know what to write anymore (haha!) I really don't want to read my last posts because I might end up doing more tweaks which is not part of this personal challenge.

Anyway, I got an idea from a post I saw on tumblr. There's this certain blogger who writes short notes to people close to her, sometimes strangers but the catch is it doesn't have a name. There's no clue of who she is talking about. It's like the letters we write on our diary but this time it is posted online and that person is unknown...

It's like letting all your feelings out.

So, I'm going to do it too.

Phew.

#1
Hey, I know that you are having a hard time right now. You have so many questions on what is happening and I know that we all push you to be braver, stronger, and mature enough to tell the truth. I'm really concerned about you. It feels like you decided to be a mature person about this matter but you still can't swallow your pride. I'm afraid that something bad might happen to you just because of your selfishness. Why can't you just tell the truth? I know it is not easy but you have to remember that the clock is ticking and this is not something that you can hide forever. I don't know what to do with you anymore! Please? Please? Please? tell them now! Please?

#2
I never thought someone like you really existed. You are such a douche bag.. You fucking jerk. Whenever I remember your name, all I think about is jerk! jerk! jerk! *ssh*le. Ugh! How can you let something happen so easily and then deny it afterwards. Someday, when everything will fall into place, I hope the time will come that you realize the things that you did. I hope when the right time comes, you'll regret the day that you saved yourself and even used God's name in vain. I know that not everything is your fault but when I read all your messages... I cried because you made someone so important to me feel like trash. When the truth is you are the crap. (I'm sorry to say this and I'll probably regret this but, I just don't care right now.) I just hope these things that you've done will not happen to anyone close to you. and one last thing, Stop! saying that you are a changed person.. because you are not!

#3
Thank you for opening yourself up to me. You rather keep everything to yourself and does not build a lot of relationships because you're just not that kind of person. I'm happy whenever you tell me stories about you because I know that you trust me enough to tell me those things. Last year was the time that I learned to build a wall and limit myself to people who knows me best. It was surprising that I gained a new friend in you. Thank you. Thank you for helping me whenever I don't know what to do especially when I was the new girl. Thank you for teaching me to be a less worrier.

#4
This is something I know I will laugh whenever I got the chance to read again in the future. But what the hell, I just want to say it.

My daydreams are often about you and me meeting somewhere far from home. I even imagine myself being disappointed because the you in my dreams is very far from the you in real life. And then, I go back to that night of the gig when you smile that genuine smile...  And *poof*here goes the daydreamer again. Don't worry I don't imagine my future with you, I'm old enough to realize that you are just a crush -- a super crush!

#5
You'll be fine. Just don't ever give up on your dreams. One step at a time. :) You'll get there.



Wow!!! I enjoyed this.. Maybe I should do this more often! :)

Learn to make yourself happy

If everything else fails, eat ice cream.

I really had a bad morning and I can not shoo the bad vibes away. I end up feeling bad about everything  and almost had another ultimate emotional breakdown (sometimes, you can't really practice what you preach). I'm just glad I was able to talk to my mama and some friends. 

I am always good in making decisions, how come I fail on it now? Whew. Maybe I just need to repeat my mantra "Some days just don't work out so well" 100x? haha.

Still, I believe when there are so many unanswered questions eat ICE CREAM. I've been depriving myself from sweets since the start of the year because I had consumed too many desserts last Christmas and New Year. I was really down this morning and I need to make myself happy. So my dearest beloved ice cream. Thank You. :) 'til next time.

Marriage Proposals

There's a sudden joy in my heart whenever I watch videos of marriage proposals. I would cry while watching the video, as if I am the girlfriend. I don't know, I just find it amusing to witness someone expressing love in a very selfless way. 

To connect this on my post, this afternoon, I was watching the latest episode of Glee with my two friends (who were supposed to finish something for their thesis) and we realized that Mr. Schue will propose to Emma. I haven't watched Glee for a long time now so I don't really know the flow of the story. I was just very touched with Mr. Schue's proposal. haha. I'm sorry, I'm just a simple girl and I am very mababaw. 

The Glee cast sang We found love by Rihanna. If you are curious with Mr. Schue's proposal just watch the latest episode.

After all the things that I felt today, I know that everything will be alright again. :)

Ready to love again -- Lady Antebellum

HAHA! This is not my current status but I really like the song. Just being optimistic about life and love. Listen to the song and read the lyrics..

and my favorite stanza is:

"Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it's time for me to let it go"




"Ready To Love Again"

Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection, no
Scared of love but scared of life alone

Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it's time for me to let it go

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again

Just when we think that love will never find you
You runaway but still it's right behind you, oh
It's just something that you can't control

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again

So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down

It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready, I'm ready to love again

Once in awhile there's magic

Once upon a time in your life, you'll meet someone who would let you believe in soul mates, destiny and savior. (don't worry this is not a love story, just another blog post from the land of what might have been). Yes, one time the girl believed about all of those "cheesiness" and "chic flick" plots but then again that was once upon a time.

She's just a 14 year old girl who is trying to be at ease with her new section in high school when she had a seatmate. A naughty, talkative and uber "pasaway" seatmate. She thought they would never connect but she was wrong. Seatmate could be really sweet who could give her little things whenever they meet again on Monday. She has a certain smile on her face when he gives her some thing from his weekend getaway. They became close friends. Close friends wherein they tell each others secrets, tease each other, tease their other friends, and laugh about everything together.

Until, the naive girl developed a little crush on his seatmate. haha. Funny? because at that time there was a song that was so hyped. While the girl's singing it on her head while doing a seatwork, seat mate suddenly sang it out loud. And of course, she thought it is soooo destined (whatever!).

Also with those sweet moments, they had a pet name for each other and because of that friends started to tease them. Good thing, their teacher planned another seat plan and the seat mates were far from each other now and seat mate don't talk to her that much.. You know the thing when you're too close to someone and people starts teasing you and you find it hard to be normal and talk again? That's what happened. Seat / (soul) mate, crush = gone.

Then, another someone came along.. The real one but that's another story. :)

Anyway, after those "ilang moments", they became good friends again. Laugh and tease each other again, still call their pet name to each other but just friends.

Anyway, that was six years ago. She believed in a once upon a time and people stays the same after how many years...

He maybe the good guy before but now, he is someone who is real. He is not the perfect good guy anymore (the one you created on your fantasies). He's the one who could hurt other people, someone who can do evil and silly things, he's not the goody goody guy. Not because, he's really a bad person but he's just not the one who could live up in your imagination. Its time to wake up darling. He's not savior anymore. He's just.. a guy who once made your heart skip a beat.

He came into your life to make you smile and to make you believe that once in awhile there are moments that can be magical too... just moments.

Like, someone who will come to teach you to follow your heart and be happy but it does not mean that he is there to teach you forever.. He's just an instrument to wake up your sleeping heart.

So to her seat/soul mate. Thank You... thank You...

dark mocha frappe w/o whip cream w/ a pump of strawberry

It was 3pm and I was "INTENSELY" reading The time traveler's wife when my friend charie called me if I want to have coffee, at first I said I don't have money but I'm very eager to go out of the house even just for awhile. just to get away from my frustration mode (don't ask).

So we (yie, celine and me) went to Starbucks Mamplasan, and yeah finally I got the chance to try one of my kuya's recommended frappes in sb. He said to me that I should not order the usual frappe with whip cream. try different pumps etc. and then yeah I tried dark mocha frappe w/o whip cream w/ a pump of strawberry :) and i love et! Kuya will be proud of me! haha..

Kuya and I promised to each other that we should not stick to what's the usual. We should be trying everything and yeah that includes starbucks coffee.

Anyway, I also like the coffee shop's new rules that customers are not allowed to smoke even outside.. hhmmm. that's another step for a healthy environment. :)

*peace*