#my500words: A letter to the 15-year old me

I've been wanting to write this letter for a long time. I just can't find the right words. So why did I choose to write to the 15-year old me? Well, because at that time I thought I had the biggest problem, I thought I had the most painful heartbreak but now that I'm older, looking back at those times makes me laugh hard at myself and even cringe when I remember my stupidity. haha!

Dear 15-year old me,

         Hi! I know you're having a hard time right now and you feel like the world is out there to come and get you. Everything feels like trash and for the first time, you are taking risk and learning the pains of the so called "first love." Please don't stress yourself and worry about it until the middle of the night. It is okay to feel happy. As much as I don't want to deal with this but I have to say, your heartbreak felt like the most painful you had but girl, it is not! It is just a lesson that you have to learn. There is someone out there meant for you, I just don't know when he'll arrive. Maybe, you'll also realize that you don't need somebody to be complete you. You'll be fine girl, I swear. For sure, your future self will laugh at you because you fell in love to someone out of your type. What's wrong girl? I thought you have high standards? loljoke. It may look like you'll never get over that person but I swear, girl!!! YOU CAN AND YOU WILL! You'll find a more worthy person to love. You also need to stop posting unnecessary quotes on your friendster account okay? In time, you'll be fine and it's not the end of the world! haha!

      So, you're in the room moping because you can't go to the mall with your friends, you can't hang out with them after school. You have a family that has strict rules but don't worry when you're older you'll be more free to do the things you want. Remember your conversation with your mom? Don't worry when you graduate from College you can do whatever you want without asking for her permission. Well, girl! Your wait will be really worth it. You will gain your parents' trust that even if you are still in college, start to let you go and make you do things that you want. You will even end up with your classmates in Sierra Madre appreciating nature... Haha. Sad that you didn't experience it in high school but ... Come on it is more fun! I'm proud of you that even if you had strict rules in the house you didn't end up being a rebellious girl. It was hard to follow the rules that sometimes you end up hating everyone (haha!) but still you thought this will all end. Because of those things you learned that trust is a big thing and to never mess with it.

      Just enjoy the moment especially the time that you have with your friends. Time will come that you'll have different lives and it will be hard to be in one place at the same time. Tell them you love them, do more stupid things with them, and stop worrying about the unknown.

    You'll be okay and awesome. I'm proud of you.


                                                                                                                                       Love,
                                                                                                                           The 23-year old me :)

   

"It will be alright again"

Honestly, this is really not a good day. Heartbreak day. "Almost but not quite."  
Do you know the feeling when you wished for something big and you know that you have that chance to hold it in your hands? You are just one step away but then reality set in and said "Not yet!"


My hopes are really down but I still believe that God still has something better for me. maybe, something more. Goooosh! This is really hard but, I'm trying to be positive in every way.. (but, I tell you, its really hard.) 


Anyway, to be okay. I talked to my friends. I text Trixie about what happened (I think she's still in class when i sent her the message...), I talked to Debbie and Airiz too. And yes, its a relief to let go of the sadness that you keep inside. After I talked to my friends, I felt better. 


Then, I tried to lift up my mood and find some things over the internet....

hahaha! omnomnomagon? no waay. haha

gosh! I think I need this noooow. :/

I also want to share the line in Post Grad ( I watched it last night in Star movies) that inspired me, "struggle and strife come first before success, even in the dictionary..." :)

In times like this, I can't help but listen to Sugarland's Little Miss

Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win.... It will be alright again.

I just hope in my bad day, I have also shared something that could inspire everyone. Have a good night looorves. :) 

Don’t pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.