Tomorrow might be different

Forty days ago, I lost someone so dear to me. As I always say when unexpected things happen, in a sudden snap my Ninang Dorie was gone.
It was 1 am when my mom cried that woke me up. I thought she's just having a bad dream but when I look at her she's sitting on our bed holding her cellphone. I was nervous 'cause *hello? its 1 am and everyone's dreaming while my mom is on the phone crying.

I asked her why? She said "Si Ninang mo nasa ICU, coma... (she said something like that in between her sobs)" Because my mind is still sleeping I asked her "Sinong ninang?" then she said "Ninang Dorie mo." Then I didn't speak cause I don't know what to say. I tried to sleep but I can't.

My mom had a very bad day that morning but she already knew what to do. She already planned that on Saturday we'll visit Ninang in the hospital together with Kuya. She'll go to the hospital that day with Tita Jo.
A day after Mama's visit, Ninang died. The doctor said that she's not responding to treatments anymore.

Thursday evening, Kuya called me while I was on the bus on my way home. He asked me if I can take a day off on our office. I asked why? Then he said those dreadful words "Patay na si Ninang."

I don't want to recall the scene in the house that evening, I just got the whole story when I arrived home. Mama had a chance to speak with Ninang thru the phone. Kuya Carlo (ninang's son) put the phone in ninang's ears while mama is saying goodbye to her.

Ninang is one of my second moms (oo madami sila. laking saudi kami kaya maraming nag aalaga samin dun everytime na may duty si mama at papa). She's one of the best Ninang I could ever have. I can talk to her about everything, share stories etc. She is one of the people who have guided me while I was growing up. We both love Divisoria! Everytime I talk to her I feel energized because she's very positive. She laughs at my flaws actually, she knows almost everything about me because mama tells her EVERYTHING.

They are bestfriends. Even if they don't see each other often they were still updated in each others life through hours of talking on the phone. And that's one of the things I'll miss...

I'll miss Ninang's greeting everytime I celebrate my birthday. She'll always be one of the first people who'll greet me on my birthday. hindi pa yan makukuntento, tatawag pa yan.
Then she'll say, basta alam mo naman, wala akong ibang maireregalo sayo kundi Pagmamahal. I will miss that :(
it sounds cheesy but I know that Ninang says it from the bottom of her heart.

I'm happy that she's now in heaven but everytime i remember my dreams, i usually end up being sad. Ninang is included in my dreams. I dream that one day, i would be able to treat mama and her friends in a fine dining restaurant, they'll go shopping, etc etc. *Nasasabi ko na lang, ay kulang na :(. Well, maybe Ninang is just up there waiting for me to make my dreams come true.

I know you're in heaven now, Ninang. Please be our Guardian Angel. I will always be your little Kit. I love you so much. :)


In a sudden snap everything will change. Say i love you, hug and kiss the people you love now because tomorrow might be different.