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Friday, April 18, 2014

I'm back.

It was supposed to be just a normal Wednesday night. I'm home early, had dinner with the mum, went to my room then read a young adult e-book that I can't put down because of the lightness of the story.

When I was done reading, there were tears in my eyes. Probably, because I found the book so good or I just realized something more.

Something more personal...

Maybe, because I realized that the old "me" is back. Not the same but a lot better.

I think too much and I may look calm on the outside (the truth is) I'm freaking out so bad in the inside. I am that person. I allowed stress and hate overpower the calmness and the kindness in me. I became a horrible person and thank God I realized it early.

As long as I realized that I don't want to be that person anymore, all good things came rushing in. I can't say that it is perfect. I still have those freaking out moments but I am handling it better.

A year ago, I am so afraid and I feel so lost. I was crying all night (sometimes) without having any reasons. I just cried because I was so tired and thought that everything is so f*cked up.  Now, I am here not fully healed but I am getting there.

"This time last year everything was so different."

I have to say that it is better now.


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